I have recently spent a good deal of time developing an idea for a story for a game, and I would like advice in developing it. Its likely going to be either an RPG or an action-adventure. BTW, I am aware it contains a few cliches, but no game is completely free of cliches. Here is the idea: It is the year 2106. An alien species now controls humanity. Humans believe that they are wonderful aliens who came to help us, but of course this is only because of the chips they plant in our brains. Our main character, named Jeremy Nalenter, a high school student, has never been quite as accepting of the aliens, known as the Astarians, as other people. One day, the aliens call him to the police and try to kill him, but he escapes and flees them. He changes his identity and gradually realizes that his entire identity is a lie, and that he is a special agent created by the Astarians for some sinister purpose. However, he refuses to comply with them. After a while, Jeremy discovers that the aliens created humanity to be soldiers in a distant, intergalactic war that they have been fighting for millions of years on and around their homeworld, and that he is to be their general who wil defeat their ancient enemies. They had decided to kill him, however, when he realized that a side effect of his genetic enhancement was that he would not comply with them. With the help of a team of various other people who have also shaken off the control of the biochips, he escapes and locates another world, constructed in a replica of 1950s Earth, where the aliens intend to create their next harvesting ground. However, as the story moves along, Jeremy realizes that he may not have fully escaped the Astarian''s programming. How does this plot sound? Also, how would gameplay be handled? I can''t really think of how a sci-fi RPG would be handled, but I also don''t want the game to be a dumb first-person shooter or a pure adventure game.

In response to the general thing, the aliens want him to be the general. He won''t become one. However, remember that that may only be what they want him to believe.
As for changing his identity, that can be accomplished by modifying your biochips (which can also give you special abilities). Also, the Astarians may be letting him get away with it.
One thing: if it were done RPG style, I don''t think it would be a good idea to allow direct control over party members, as some might be evil, or have thier own behavior patterns. Any ideas on how to avoid this?

So then, after Morpheus frees Neo and helps him become the One to lead them victory over the matrix... then what? =P. Seriously you have a good idea, a good start but the concept needs a little work. Keeping in mind that all NEW ideas come from a combination of two or more OLD ideas youve seen before, you must also make sure not to just be drawing things from your brain in a reactive sense, rather you should actively be straining your brain to generate totally new ideas. I know my first impression is that of a pessimist; hardly. I just really wanna see the true depths of what a man can create honestly. Take Alice for instance, we all know what that is, add a psychotic twist, and youve got a totally different direction to head downward, or DBZ is a complete rippoff of Monkey something or other, but the way Toriama changed the basic elements of the story it seems like a totally new story. The very fact that you clearly made evident that your story was full of cliches, has to be a red flag for you that maybe _just_ maybe its time to really get your mind cranking to produce totally different directions for your story?

Secondly, the fact that he just becomes a general, or is told to become a general because everyone wants him to, how does that tie into the basic foundations of the story? Obviously everyone is some sort of mindless borg of sorts, and those that arent I''m sure wouldnt want an escapee to take a leading position. It would be similar to having a Plantation owner make a slave into a king. It just doesnt make sense.

Terceral, You know what makes Azurik a horrible game? The controls...man they suck.... but you know what else. The very fact that the entire story is deeply rooted in game traditions. One of a kind man has to go and kick general monster ass using the power of the elements. Doesnt sound familiar? ASk Captain Planet, O-Kage (PS2), or any RPG by Sqaure. Megaman too even uses this convention, but they mask it so well by not making it a part of the story so you arent constantly focused on beating the fire demon that you can enjoy the REAL plot elemtents.

I really hate to put stuff down, I seriously hope you dont take this personally, and I REALLY dont want you to be discouraged from writing. But, the only way to get any serious point across is to say it without padding it with a bunch of sorry''s and other random crap to soften the truth. Theres enough censorship in games, lets not add it into the creation as well. Anyway, major things you should work on.

Just as an excersize, take any two things you see in your house, and create something new. Its sounds dumb but its good to get a grasp of making something new out of something old. Secondly stay away from stencils. Too many games use basic stencils and go nowhere, same with movies and other media and they end up covering it up with a bunch of gratuitous sex and violence to make it appealing. Personally I''d take Super mario World to any of these other new fangled games any day. One good thing I would like to say is that I am glad someone is planning out the details of their game before they begin to get deeper into it. Too many people try to write an entire plot with just a whim they got on the can. structure structure. You wont get very far without a good solid plan. What is your world like before you add in your main characters, what do your main characters bring to make the world happy / sad / gay / straight / existencial? how should they change before the end of the story? what do they reflect / represent / act like. What is the favorite toy of the aliens? These are teh kind of questions you should be asking yourself at a bare minimum. If someone on the street came down to you and asked them how many aliens there were on the planet, how many people. Would you be able to answer them? As story teller, you should always be ready to answer anything, remember when mom and dad read you a story for the first time and you asked whether the dragon was a good dragon or a bad dragon? Remember how they gave you the answer, and it was so detailed that you could almost picture it in your head? If you can desciptively and accurately describe any element in the story down the grain of salt in your characters hand as he is talking about lunch on a cool autum sunset, then its time to move on to plot. If you cant, keep planning.

~ Vincent Chao-Sake

I don''t get offended by criticism of my ideas. Some of them are somewhat dumb.
Anyway, the point is that people are not completely mindless. They just normally don''t question the aliens or their periodic harvesting of people for their army.
As for Jeremy becoming a general, the point is that we don''t really know that''s what the aliens want. In fact, it''s not. The ending durprise is that they''ve sent him to assassinate the people he thinks he''s helping. He has dreams of people being killed and thinks he''s predicting the future, so he goes to stop the murders. Really, he''s causing them. He overcomes this at the end and instead kills the Altarians.

I like the way your mind thinks. Nice ending, Im sure your project will get far, make sure you don''t get tripped up in writing the other 60 pgs of summary. Remeber too that you will get alot more done actively writing than sitting here on the boards waiting for someone to spoonfeed you some good ideas. I can guarantee that for every one good idea that you may get here, you will have passed up 20 of your own. Good luck to you. Get writing!

~ V. Chao Sake